How NOT to be an online marketer

This article is hilariously bad.  The author more than likely has no experience and speaks English as a third or fourth language.  If you want to make your online marketing efforts worse, just do exactly what he tells you… that is, if you can understand him.

Here are some of the gems:

“Banners. These type of product promotion is place on the top portion of a particular web page. It has the ability to attract customers because of its animation and noticeable way to get the attention of the people.  Catching the audience’s attention is the primary objective of an internet marketer. The persuasion skill should be honed if effective enough to win a large market. The more convincing power you have, the more profit enters a business.”

Really?  Catching the audience’s attention is the primary objective?  Well that free iPod nano lady must be a freaking jedi master at online marketing!  Banners are myopic and insanely ineffective.  It blows my mind that companies waste money on them.

“To begin practising your web marketing skills, how about you set up an internet society online that will enable members to post their tips on a particular topic. It does not need to sell products but you can start from simple ideas. For example, build a web page that will enable members to publish their poems and other kinds of literature.”

Awesome.  I’m sure TONS of people will come to my website to publish their poems.  They’ll ignore WordPress, Blogger, Typepad, LiveJournal, and even Poetry.com.  Or I guess I could just start my own blog and gain a following with quality content… Nah, that’s too easy.

“Always be on the go and innovative. Updates via internet is totally fast!… To keep yourself in the warpath, you should not allow yourself to be left behind. You must always have fresh and new ideas to inject in promoting an item.”

Was this article intended for people who have no understanding of the internet?

“These are just tips that you can consider or not… Absorb these ideas and I am dead sure that you will be indeed, a great internet marketing guru!  Daegan Smith is the leader of the fastest growing team of successful home business enterpernuers on the net.

FAIL.  See how easy it is to b.s. online?  Anyone can do it!

4 comments on “How NOT to be an online marketer

  1. I dunno, Charlie. I don’t think he’s BSing with that last one. I was at the World Home Business EnterPernuers conference last week, and it was impossible to get within 10 feet of the guy, what with the swarm of people around him.

    Those enterpernuers sure are a rowdy bunch, unlike the often-laid-back entrepreneurs…

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